In a world full of passing loves, breakups, and heartbreaks, the age-old question persists: Does true love exist? Many people have pondered this enigmatic idea, and in this article, we will go into the depths of love, analyzing its meaning, expressions, and the quest for that one special connection.
Poets have drafted poems on it, writers have written novels on it, artists have created paintings around it, musicians have sung basing lyrics and tunes on it.
Photographers have captured moments depicting it, and yet, across centuries and decades and times, we are still here, all of us, even in 2023, still trying to figure out the true meaning and true definition of love. Maybe even unconditional love.
And it brings us to the age-old question: Does real love exist? Do you believe in true love?
Does true love exist?: Love through the Ages
In a world filled with innumerable stories of romance, tragedy, and the never-ending yearning for a profound connection, the issue of whether real love exists frequently arises. It’s a question that has resonated throughout history, provoking thought, doubt, and hope in equal measure.
Whether you’re a firm believer or a cynic, the quest for the essence of genuine love is a journey that crosses all boundaries and speaks to us all.
Now we will deep dive into this article and find love and its existence.
There were generations who thought love was marriage. That to wed someone under vows and in front of society, having children, bringing them up, sticking by each other even at the worst of situations, compromising, sailing through life; that was love for them.
But as times changed, the definition of love evolved into being more romanticized rather than being about companionship.
People were attracted more towards feeling the sparks and the butterflies vis-à-vis settling down into a mundane routine and boring life. Love Gurus came up with new definitions of true love with their concepts of dating, love calculator, love languages, hopeless romantic tales, theories of unconditional love, and commercialized it.
Read More: What are the most important things to look for in a partner?
Balancing Tradition and Modernity
Books and cinema sold larger-than-life stories about hopeless romantic tales that lived on forever that seldom had less to do with real life. The younger and the newer generation grew up on a mixed dish of the traditional concept of marriage and love that resulted in a boring yet stable institution of marriage alongside with having an idea of a partner that sent chills of attraction and sensual tension down their spine.
But all is not well in such a confused state of mind. Our parents and generations before them seemed to be happier and more open to adjustments and compromises as they were more prone to a very simple idea of life and love.
They basically lived for others, for society, for family, and did everything for everyone else. Their selflessness gave birth to a generation who grew up watching all the adversities of being a societal being, of a selfless being and thus gave more importance to individuality.
The younger generation
The younger generation, well fed, with a good roof and clothes and all the necessities being provided by the parents, looked at life and love beyond the lens of survival.
They focused on building their identity, or exploring and realizing their true self in all ways, be it their hobbies, passions, careers, or even sexuality, they touched and tried it all with open arms.
The Paradox of Endless Options
They did things which were not so normally openly acceptable half a century back without being called out. With a generation who truly valued their personality, was very conscious about their likes and dislikes, was less on the compromising tangent, and of course was constantly fed on the idea of true undying romantic love by media, the idea their parents were selling them out of their understanding didn’t sit quite well with the young.
Dawn of Dating Apps
And if this wasn’t enough, the gen x or gen z or the millennials took the bacon to the next level, by introducing dating and marriage apps in the market, or even hookups and literally having love as a commercialized and surface-level theory, mistaking dating with true love, like clothes and fashion.
Overwhelming Choice
The supply of men and women around became not only interesting but confusing. It looked like a kid in a toy store, a real big toy store with all kinds of colorful toys around, where you can get anything that you want, from puzzles to dolls to cars to anything that you keep a finger on or could imagine.
The Disposable Nature of Relationships
Everything was out there! There was no limit, no boundation in the new society. At first, it did look like a picnic, but eventually, the kid did get bored with the toy it had selected, and because the kid knew that there were more toys out there, in reach, leaving the last toy didn’t really mean much, because hey, curiosity.
“It didn’t work out, we were both really different,” or, “He wasn’t what I thought him to be,”, or, “I cannot live with her my entire life,” or, “We were not compatible,” or, “It was just a casual fling,” and many, many more.
Changing Relationship Priorities
Earlier love was about interdependence, partners took freely and gave freely. They had limited priorities, basic needs with each other, a strong demarcation of certain wants and demands.
They found it easier to be with each other. Most or many people of older generations stuck by with each other. They had lesser options and many only had one partner for their entire life.
They made it work. The relationship scenario looks drastically opposite in 2023 where there is no dearth of prospective partners, even before or after marriage, and one foot is always out if things don’t fall in place.
The Quest for True Love
However, the question still pertains: Does true love exist? If yes, why the current generation is having a nightmare in finding ‘the one’? Is there anything like unconditional love or we have just over-romanticized the idea of it all?
Can one get everything in one person and have those perfect spark through decades? Or was it the past generation that did it more correctly and we are just messing it all by being too picky and choosy?
Are we wrong in having expectations for the one person who will be the most important of it all?
Finding Love in Balance
I guess the answer has always lied in balance and that is what we have always seemed to miss in all situations. Even when we talk about the previous generations, they did overdo on being the selfless part and having no individual identity out of their families and kins.
They lived for society and hence lived a life far away from their personal values so much that they were not able to craft their real self and chose to live as a shadow of their surroundings, did what was expected of them, what they were told to do without applying their own rationality or logic.
When the current generation saw this happening to and with their parents all in their childhood it did leave a negative mark in their hearts, especially around the idea of marriage.
Many children saw how deeply unhappy the parents were with their spouses because they simply settled with what was handed over to them as the first choice, giving rise to the rise of the concept of not only individuality but the concept of dating, relationships, and having sexual encounters before marriage to choose the best ‘fit’ for their life.
Striking a Balance in Love
However, against all the odds (or the evens) the boon soon did turn out to be a curse as we saw a rise in breakups and divorces all around the world result in broken hearts, broken relationships, broken marriages, and homes because we yet again overdid on the other extreme spectrum.
Love with Realism
So what it is all about? Both generations in their own extreme ways didn’t really seem to find that true unconditional love because they lacked neutrality. Be it being very settling or be it not compromising much, both aspects didn’t and couldn’t get one what he or she wants, hence making a way for more and more poorer relationships and trauma surrounding it all.
A Realistic Approach to Love
I guess the answer lies that one can only find love with a very realistic approach instead of an extreme approach: settling down very soon with the first one or not settling with anyone even after having numerous relations.
What worked fifty years ago might not be as relevant as of now if just is applied as it is, but it could be tailor-cut and made and parts of that concept could be used. I mean they did and could manage stable relationships for most part and there were less brokenness all around and come what may, we all do look for stability still somewhere down the line.
I think we can take that, instead of hit and trial in various relationships, I guess we do need to learn how to stick by someone through thick and thin and not take the door out at minute miscommunications. No one is perfect, guys! There is no Mr. Right or Ms. Perfect out there anyway.
The butterflies do fly away after a few months or years. Boredom does seep in. And that is normal.
Real Love in Everyday Moments
To be honest, real love begins when the sparks settle down. Real love is in the morning coffees and buying groceries together and reading or cooking or having silent meals or talking through eyes scattered over life.
No adrenaline rushes. Just growing together, old and in life, side by side, hand in hand. Love is all about seeing that face and listening to that voice, repeatedly and yet never growing out of the magic of it all.
To be there for each other in all the ups and downs and the goods and the bad and still choosing each other over the world, without being selfish, and the feeling flowing freely from both sides without any calculation.
The Beauty of Love’s Simplicity
Love can never really be defined, it can only be felt in the littlest of moments, and it can only happen when one knows what they want and stop when they get it. There is no better rose out there folks, the one you have got, if you like how it smells, if you like how it feels, stop searching and settle down. That rose is your forever garden.
FAQs
Is true love the same for everyone?
True love can take on unique forms for different individuals, tailored to their experiences, values, and desires.
Can true love be rekindled after a breakup?
Yes, true love can be reignited after a breakup if both partners are willing to communicate, grow, and rebuild trust.
Is self-love essential for finding true love in a relationship?
absolutely, self-love is the foundation of a healthy relationship, as it fosters self-worth and the capacity to love and be loved.
Can true love exist in non-romantic relationships, like friendships?
Yes, true love can thrive in non-romantic relationships, such as deep and lasting friendships, marked by trust and mutual support.
What can I do to nurture true love in my current relationship?
To nurture true love, prioritize open communication, active listening, and consistent acts of kindness and appreciation.
Vidushi Gupta is an accomplished writer and digital marketing expert with contributions to organizations like Miles Educomp and ICAI. She has authored nearly ten novels and worked as a Senior Content Writer and Digital Marketing Specialist at ESS Global and Shabd. Her Quora posts have amassed almost 20 million views, reflecting her belief in the transformative power of the written word.