The Importance of Addressing Childhood Issues

Today we will discuss The Importance of Addressing Childhood Issues. Have you ever considered how the things that happened to you as a youngster still affect you today?

It’s similar to constructing a house on a foundation: your childhood experiences influence who you are now.

However, there are occasions when such memories might act as unseen thorns, hurting us without our knowledge. For this reason, we must examine our childhoods more closely and address any issues that we discover.

It’s similar to pulling weeds to allow lovely flowers to bloom. Let’s discuss the significance of this and how it might improve our self-esteem and quality of life.

The Importance of Addressing Childhood Issues: Inner Child Healing

Last night I was a part of an inner child healing meditation session, attended by almost 30 people. I was the youngest amongst them, the others ranging from above forty to even seventy.

At the start of the session, after a brief introduction, the participants all started telling their own childhood stories, and what impacted them in their early years that is affecting their life and its quality even today, be it their work, health, family, marriage or relationships in general.

I too spoke about my own story that how I internalized deep loneliness in my kid years due to the physical and emotional absence of my parents and how it also shaped my tendency to connect with others.

Growing Up in Independence

I grew up mostly by myself, though in a safe environment where I was well looked after and provided for.

But I became so independent physically and emotionally that after growing up, I consciously craved love but subconsciously looked for freedom, independence, and loneliness as well to feel safe and secure.

Seeking Solitude for Safety

Too much emotionally charged environment or physical vicinity of even my loved ones can give me a real headache and a feeling of fatigue and even annoyance, wanting to take my space and just be by myself in peace.

That’s how even after actively looking for love or connections, my inner child is still looking for safety and peace in aloneness.

I internalized from a very young age that I could be safe and at peace if I kept myself away from all the drama happening around me and preserved my energy rather than fight or find my way.

I learnt to disconnect from connections rather than learning to keep healthy boundaries which can give me my share of connectivity and independence at the same time.

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Navigating Extremes in Childhood

I also learned to do a lot on the other extreme. In my childhood, I must have learned to overcome my fear of abandonment.

As I grew up in several homes of my relatives and neighbors, (both my parents were employed), I developed a core wound of abandonment, that I wasn’t enough, that there was something wrong with me.

And to be not dropped down like a hot potato, to feel validated I did more, I gave more, abandoned myself, and neglected my boundaries just to feel belonged and loved.

However, doing more doesn’t ever work, doing the right does. I developed both anxious-avoidant attachment types, anxiously attaching at first for the seeking of love and companionship and then avoidant running later for independence, freedom, and safety due to a lack of boundaries.

How to Heal Your Inner Child?: Learning

To heal my core wounds, I first decided to take one step at a time. I try to study my patterns very keenly.

In all my relationships, romantic or not, I first attach very anxiously. I like the closeness at first, and I like it too much.

I want to just be around the other person, maybe too much, and thus not keep safe boundaries for my inner child to feel safe.

I understood the toxicity of this. Therefore, in all my new connections, I now go very slowly.

I talk to a lot of people, but I don’t talk much. I try to understand the other person and rather than talking for five hours at a stretch, I talk to them for one hour each on five different occasions.

That is how I am trying to subdue my anxious style. That my connection with any specific person is safe even if I keep my boundaries and we aren’t talking that much in one go.

Consistency and quality matter over useless gibberish. I had to learn that I am still precious, worthy, and validated even if don’t overdo with my availability at first.

I had to learn to honor my own needs above everyone else’s and not feel bad or selfish about it as I cannot degrade my wishes and desires to keep up someone else’s to feel loved.

I then turned towards my avoidant side. Once I was able to draw little boundaries in my connections, I slowly learned that my desire to run away from the people around me had diminished.

I learned that I can be around people and if I do it in the right way and right quantity, I would not feel unsafe.

I was only feeling unsafe amidst people because I was jumping my boundaries to feel validated and safe. My anxious side made my avoidant self feel unsafe and my avoidant face made my anxious part restless.

To heal I had to balance both. Connecting and disconnecting at regular intervals did make things a bit better.

Navigating Distance and Proximity

Growing up I understood that distance is safe and proximity is unsafe. And this kept me lonely, which led to the craving for companionship deeply, but only if it could be kept at a distance.

That meant endlessly looking for companionship in connections and then feeling unsafe in the proximity of them, causing me to run away.

Classic anxious-avoidant attachment style where my subconscious destroyed what I was craving for consciously and my conscious sabotaged what my subconscious desired for.

Integration and Healing

After working on the healing of these core belief systems, where my consciousness and subconscious ran in different directions.

I had to learn how to integrate them into one and how they can both want the same thing: companionship and safety in connections by learning how to regulate, create, maintain, and respect my boundaries.

I had to learn I was safe and loved by having stringent boundaries, and that I can have what I want inside out if I go the right way.

Once I could learn how to do that, I can let the others know about them and they could help me work with it.

I learned to say no and disengage in situations where I felt unsafe or anything that triggered my inner wounds. I learned to love, live, laugh, let go forgive, and move on.

Once I was able to do that, I found much more love, peace, safety, and integration in my being. That authenticity was the reflection of my inner child healing.

Why is Healing Your Inner Child Essential for Your Well-being?

Like my own experience, every individual has a different journey that is laced with traumas and wounds from our early years. Similar to physical wounds, these events can leave severe, long-lasting scars on us.

They have the power to affect our everyday lives, our relationships, and our emotions. However, we can change our experiences and enhance our well-being by addressing these early challenges.

In addition to healing ourselves, when we take the time to resolve our childhood traumas, we also foster positive connections and interactions with others.

We learn more about ourselves and our actions by confronting our past. We discover how to eschew the habits that impede us and adopt more healthful lifestyles.

We find fresh strength and resilience inside ourselves as we set out on this healing journey. We gain more ease and grace in overcoming life’s obstacles.

Above all, we build a better future for ourselves and everyone around us. Why therefore should you give your inner kid some TLC?

Because when you do, you not only realize your greatest potential but also encourage others to start their paths of self-awareness and recovery.

Healing Your Inner Child: Steps to Transformation

• Self-Reflection: Take time to reflect on your childhood experiences and identify any unresolved emotional wounds.
• Acknowledge and Validate: Acknowledge the pain and emotions from your past and validate your inner child’s feelings.
• Therapeutic Techniques: Explore therapeutic techniques such as inner child work, art therapy, or journaling to express and process emotions.
• Reparenting: Practice self-compassion and nurture your inner child by providing the love, support, and validation they may have lacked in childhood.
• Establish Boundaries: Learn to set healthy boundaries in relationships to protect your inner child and prevent re-traumatization.
• Inner Child Meditation: Engage in guided meditations or visualization exercises to connect with and comfort your inner child.
• Seek Professional Help: Consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor experienced in inner child healing to guide you through the process.
• Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your inner child’s needs, such as engaging in hobbies, spending time in nature, or connecting with supportive friends.
• Release and Let Go: Release pent-up emotions and negative beliefs through practices like forgiveness, letting go rituals or energy healing modalities.
• Celebrate Progress: Celebrate small victories and progress made in your inner child healing journey, acknowledging the courage and resilience it takes to confront past pain.

Final words

In summary, discovering and developing your inner child is a process. Through introspection, clutching your inner child, and asking for help when necessary, you may heal from the past and start living a happier, more contented life.

Remind yourself to celebrate every victory in your recovery process and to be gentle with yourself.

You are worthy of inner peace, pleasure, and love. Proceed with your progress and remember that you are not traveling the path of healing alone.

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Vidushi Gupta

Vidushi Gupta is an accomplished writer and digital marketing expert with contributions to organizations like Miles Educomp and ICAI. She has authored nearly ten novels and worked as a Senior Content Writer and Digital Marketing Specialist at ESS Global and Shabd. Her Quora posts have amassed almost 20 million views, reflecting her belief in the transformative power of the written word.