Is transactional love still love in a Relationship?

Today, we will embark on a journey to unravel the intricate question: Is transactional love still love in a relationship? The concepts of unconditional and conditional love frequently emerge as vital and complicated elements in the field of love and relationships. The article below explores these ideas through a thought-provoking story centered on the experiences of Arya and Aryan, a young couple navigating the ups and downs of their romantic journey.

We’ll look at the contrasting dynamics of transactional and unconditional love, the difference between giving and receiving, and the complexities of establishing healthy, happy relationships as their tale unfolds.

We’ll explore the true nature of love, its bounds, and the enormous influence it can have on our lives via Arya and Aryan’s story, not only in romantic circumstances but also throughout the larger spectrum of human connections.

Join us on this journey through the many elements of love to learn whether transactional love can coexist with the true, unselfish love that we so frequently crave.

Is transactional love still love in a relationship?: A Tale of Arya and Aryan

In this article, let me tell you a short story. There was once a girl named Arya, deeply in “love” or she thought with a boy named Aryan.

They were both in their early twenties, met in college, became friends, and came into a relationship after realizing that they liked each other more than as friends. They were very happy with each other initially.

Is transactional love still love in a Relationship?

“This is it”, they said to each other, promising a future of togetherness, full of unconditional love.

However, as time progressed Arya began noticing that Aryan wasn’t as involved in the relationship as she was. All or most of the efforts were being put in by her.

She was the one calling and texting him more, fighting more to keep the relationship, chasing him for marriage commitment or intimacy, buying him gifts, soothing him at his mistakes, and doing almost everything all in the name of unconditional love as she thought true love is all about giving and giving and giving without having any expectations from the other person.

She gave and gave till the day she stopped and walked out because she understood unconditional love is not just about giving but receiving as well she was just not being honest with herself.

In the pages of Arya and Aryan’s story, we find the chapters of love, with its twists and turns, teaching us that the truest bonds are woven not just in ‘I love you,’ but in ‘we love and grow together.’

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What Conditional Love Looks and Feels Like

When we say that we love someone we want to do things for them. From making them breakfast to listening to how their day was, we want to put in efforts to show we care.

However, when we expect them to do things for us, and make us happy in return for what we are doing, that is conditional love. It is like a barter system of love. Give and take. I do this for you so now you’re obligated to do this for me. It is like keeping a statement of profit and loss in your relationship.

What Conditional Love Looks and Feels Like

For example, if Arya is doing 5 things for Aryan, now she will expect Aryan to do 5 things for her in return so that the relationship is fairly balanced and then they both call it true love. It won’t be but, wouldn’t be anything but conditional love, very, very, very far away from the concept of unconditional love.

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Understanding Unconditional Love: A Deeper Dive

Now in the story, Arya is putting in effort for Aryan because she loves him, and Aryan, upon observing her love for him, starts making his share of efforts for her to make her feel loved and cherished.

In this case, Arya is receiving what she needs and desires from her partner without asking, feeling secure and Aryan too is receiving his share of abundance and security from the relationship without demanding.

This relationship doesn’t feel draining to either because they are basing it on understanding what the other is looking for and becoming that slowly and steadily.

The Dynamic of Giving and Receiving in Unconditional Love

Many people feel that unconditional love doesn’t include having any needs or expectations in the relationship, which is humanely impossible.

Everyone has needs like mental, emotional, physical, sexual, financial, social, legal, and more, and deserves to get these needs fulfilled in their primary relationship from their very own partner.

Unconditional love does not mean that one has no demands, but that the person doesn’t feel the need to put demands because the other person is considerate enough to identify them.

But does that mean we need to partner with people who can read our minds? Of course not.

We must voice what we feel when the need arises but the other person is supportive enough to acknowledge them.

Unconditional love works when one partner feels happy and fulfilled in giving the other person because giving to that person makes them feel loved and the partner receives with open arms, simultaneously, the other partner gives and lets the other person receive with the same enthusiasm.

More than give and take, a transactional relationship where two people keep a check and an account, word by word, deed by deed, unconditional love is nurturing a plant of togetherness based on mutual respect and growth of both partners simultaneously.

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Unconditional Love is Understanding And Growth

Transactional or conditional love is selfish. It’s about what you can take or get from your partner. It is about thinking for yourself before putting your partner in the picture.

“I did this for you now you have to do that for me so that we can be in a balance” is a classic statement that can define conditional love. Also, unconditional love is not about never expecting anything from your partner.

“I’ll only give and give and give and give even when I receive nothing or just a bit of what I deserve or need” is also a statement of delusion and disrespect to self.

Unconditional love is also not about chasing power dynamics fears or insecurities. Unconditional love is all about inspiring and healing each other, accepting each other in their raw form.

Unconditional love helps people grow to the pinnacles in both their personal and professional lives and builds their character.

Through Arya and Aryan’s journey, we uncover the deep truth that love isn’t a solo performance but a beautiful duet where harmony is found in both giving and receiving.

Final words

As we come to the end of our study of unconditional and conditional love through the eyes of Arya and Aryan’s story, we are reminded of the complexities of human connections.

Love, in its different manifestations, is a pillar of our lives, entering not only sexual relationships but also friendships, family ties, and the attachments we establish in the larger world.

The story of Arya and Aryan portrays the changing dynamics of love, the search for balance, and the importance of honest communication. It teaches us that love is not a one-way street, but rather a two-way path in which giving and receiving are connected.

While unconditional love remains an ideal, we recognize that it does not imply ignoring our own needs and desires; rather, it thrives when both partners grow together.

A search for unconditional love may be difficult in a world that generally favors transactional relationships, but the rewards are tremendous. It fosters personal development, mutual respect, and a sense of wholeness that transcends far beyond the boundaries of romance.

In conclusion, unconditional love doesn’t mean keeping a list ready to be ticked off point by point; it is about two people putting in the best of their self out there as a team for each other so that they can live the bliss of life and love till the very end of their life.


Does unconditional love have boundaries?

Contrary to what people would like to believe unconditional love has some of the clearly defined and most respected boundaries by both partners to form a healthy relationship that works on inter-dependence rather than co-dependence.

What impact can unconditional love bring into one’s life?

Unconditional love can bring immense growth, healing, balance, peace, and positivity in one’s life as unconditional love gives security to two people which is very much required by the human heart.

Is unconditional love only possible in romantic relationships?

No! Unconditional love has nothing to do with romance and can be seen and practiced in all forms of relationships be it in family, romance, or friendship.

Is conditional love automatically bad or harmful?

Most relationships in today’s world are transactional and conditional. Though these relationships are not necessarily bad, these relationships don’t give the feeling of pure acceptance, love, and bliss.

How can we find unconditional love?

Unconditional love has to be created between two people over a long period based on commitment trust and respect doing their fair share of work and being vocal about their needs and boundaries. Within time, two people can have a harmonious bond at hand to cherish.

Is it wrong to have expectations in a relationship?

Expectations are not necessarily incorrect in a relationship, but they must be communicated and negotiated with your partner to ensure they are fair and reasonable.

What is the significance of Arya and Aryan’s relationship in the story?

Arya and Aryan’s relationship serves as a narrative through which the article explores the concepts of unconditional and conditional love in relationships.

How did Arya’s perception of their relationship change over time?

As time passed, Arya noticed that she was making most of the efforts in the relationship, and this raised questions about the nature of their love and the balance of giving and receiving.

What lessons can be drawn from Arya and Aryan’s relationship in the story?

Arya and Aryan’s relationship serves as a case study in understanding the dynamics of love and the importance of balance and reciprocity in relationships.

Can Arya and Aryan’s story be considered a cautionary tale about unconditional love?

Arya and Aryan’s story can be seen as a cautionary tale about the need for open communication and balance in love, but it also highlights the potential for growth and transformation in relationships.

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